Movies that I cannot pass up on cable

There are some movies that my thumb will not allow me to skip over when my eyes see them on the guide. Doesn’t matter when the last time I watched it is, doesn’t matter if it is in the start or at the end of the movie. All that matters is that the movie is there and I am not allowed in any way to turn on something else. Here is an abridged list of movies that require my viewing every time.

Airplane!

Hot Fuzz

Ratatouille

Duel

Shawshank Redemption

Jaws

The Big Lebowski

The Usual Suspects

Equilibrium

Fuck weight loss

I ate a whole container of Ben & Jerry’s Creme Brulee and then ate a bunch of Funyuns and then had some jerky.

HERE IS WHERE I VENT MY FAVRE AND BEARS DISGUST. UGH.

So here is the thing. Bret Favre got traded to the New York Something-or-others. That means Aaron Rogers is now the full time QB of the Green Bay Packers. Meanwhile, in Chicago Bears land, the Bears QB is either Kyle Orton or Rex Grossman and their offensive line is a series of question marks and their wide receivers and running backs are all question marks. For Christ sake…it is the first preseason game.

So here we are. Beginning of August. We have not one, but TWO first place baseball teams in Chicago, and all that anybody wants to talk about is FUCKING BRET FAVRE AND THE FUCKING STUPID BEARS.

I don’t give a fucking rat’s ass about either, to be honest. Favre has made me sick to my Goddamn stomach. I wish he had gotten Manny Ramirez’s trade to Iraq. I wish he would get blowed up. I suppose the Jets are about as close to that as you can get, though. I have a tendency to forget that the Jets exist. Then, I have a Bears preseason game sitting upstairs on my bedroom DVR that I am absolutely DREADING having to sit through the first quarter or two of (no chance in hell I will make it the Caleb Haney experience or whatever it’s name is). The Bears are going to be bad. The Packers are going to be bad. The Jets are going to be bad. The Cubs are one of, if not THE best team in the National League and the White Sox are in the middle of an exciting race in the AL Central and everybody wants to talk about training camp and preseason fucking football.

Fuck this shit. Aside from setting up my fantasy league (anybody want in???), I have no interest in talking football. IT IS STILL BASEBALL SEASON. BASEBALL TRUMPS ALL.

Big Nothing (2006)

So sometimes you just happen upon something on a cable movie channel that piques your interest. For me, anything with Simon Pegg piques my interest. Typically, it is Hot Fuzz in HD. I try to watch it at least once a week, and STARS usually obliges. Last night, though, we were getting ready to watch They Live on Showtime and prior to it, there was a commercial for this movie with Simon Pegg and David Schwimmer called Big Nothing. We set ourselves a recording and just got done watching it.

This movie is fun as hell. I won’t try to paint you a picture of what happens because this caper/heist/mystery film is somewhat convoluted. Not in a The Big Sleep (original) kinda way where you can watch it a million times and never be sure of who is doing what and why…more of an Oceans 11 (remake) kinda way…where they tell you what is going to happen the whole time and it is never believable, but you believe it and enjoy it anyway.

It surprised me quite a bit. Watch for this on cable or go rent it. Well worth your time.

IMDb

ARRRRR!!!!!

The X Files – I Want To Believe

Anyone who was hitherto unaware of my nerdom can now be informed of that fact when I admit to having been (and being) a huge fan of the X Files. While I could easily write on for hours about why I loved the show so much, I will try to keep it in my pants and paint a brief thumbnail sketch of the show for anyone who is, unfortunately, unfamiliar.

The show follows two FBI agents, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, who are assigned to the “X Files” of the FBI which are cases that have gone unsolved or have otherwise defied logical, scientific explanation. Fox Mulder, who joined the FBI as a top notch psychological profiler, has earned a bad reputation among his peers for his belief and investigation of the paranormal. While his methods are frowned upon, his results are most certainly not, as Fox more often than not is able to solve the previously unsolved cases. So the Bureau assigns Dana Scully to the X Files to “work with” Mulder. Her real assignment is to apply her sound scientific background and medical training to Mulder’s work…in essence, she is there to debunk his theories and provide tangible, hard evidence to support their findings. From there, the two went on to investigate and solve myriad bizarre phenomenon, many of which could be traced back to the growing mythology of the series that involved a US government conspiracy and cover-up about the existence of extra terrestrial life.

The show branches off into so many wonderful directions over the course of it’s 9 seasons, but the underlying theme of the show was always faith. Faith in the government, in the church, in science and in one’s self. It was my faith in the creators and writers of the show that had me giddy with anticipation about the franchise’s second full length feature film, I Want To Believe, which premiered for American moviegoers on July 25th.