I know what the Cubs need.

These are heady times indeed for Cubs fans across the city, the country and the world. With 7 games left in the regular season, the Cubs have already wrapped up the NL Central Division, the best record in the NL and home field advantage throughout the playoffs. For the first time since I reached the age of rationality (although some debate whether or not that has happened), I have realistic hopes that the team I love is going to win the World Series. While my hope and expectation is that they win the World Series every single year, the fact that the Cubs are in a 100 year Championship drought is hard to ignore, particularly if you are paying attention to the television or newspaper coverage. The main drawback of all this coverage and manufactured drama in my world are the celebrity hangers-on. Crawling out of the woodwork are all sorts of b-listers, has-beens and never-weres who can’t wait to get in front of a camera with a Cubs jersey on.

Now far be it from me to criticize people for having an agenda. I get that. I understand that when you are not particularly talented or you are no longer socially relevant, that any press is good press. Getting your face in print or broadcasted on WGN or ESPN can only be a good thing. I am also willing to countenance the concept that maybe these “celebs” actually do like the Cubs. I doubt it…highly…but I will allow for that possibility. The problem that I have here is that the celebrities who are attaching themselves to the Cubs are just bad and awful and make me ashamed to be a Cubs fan. The Lakers have Jack Nicholson. The Knicks have Spike Lee. The Bruins have Dennis Leary. The Diamondbacks have ALICE FUCKING COOPER FOR CHRIST SAKES.

Who do we Cubs fans get?

All that I want in this world is a peaceable, drab existence

I don’t want fame and fortune and a mansion and a car collection and vacation homes in exotic places and the drama that comes with the aforementioned luxuries.

All that I want is a small spit of land that I can call my own. A home that I can pay for by working a job every day. A small place with just enough bedrooms and bathrooms and a normal sized garage for our normal sized car(s). A place with a fenced in yard where my daughter can play and I can smoke large cuts of pork.

That is all I want, and I want to earn it. I don’t think it is too much to ask.

Election Voting President Whatever

Time to update everyone on this silly election stuff. Both parties have held their conventions and both candidates have their sidekicks picked out. The VEEP candidates have been the hot topic of discussion as of late, so I figured I should devote a few mintes of my time to it beacuse…hey internets…I have thoughts on things, and I want my thoughts coursing through internet tubes (henceforth known as INTERTUBES).

I have no party affiliation and have not yet flipped the coin that will determine for whom my vote will be cast. I don’t follow politics very closely or take them particularly seriously because…well…politics and politicians are not a particularly important part of my life. My opinions are formed almost entirely on surface material. Clips from speeches…still photographs…hearsay…conjecture…like most Americans, I vote superficially.

Here is my assessment of the Vice Presidential candidate picks.