John Ratzenberger Appreciation Post

Summation of Billy Corgan live in studio on Q101

Radio host: “Billy, tell me how great you are.”

Billy Corgan: “I am pretty great and I am responsible for ever good piece of music ever written.”

Radio host: “I completely agree with you.”

Billy Corgan: “Of course you do.”

The REAL America

Working overnight affords me the opportunity to take in some late night radio. I was tuned into the Mark Levin show just now and heard something truly astounding.

First off, let me paint you a thumbnail portrait of Mark Levin. He is a complete loony toon conservative with a radio show and he sounds like Fran Drescher, if Fran Drescher were to down a zeppelin or two worth of helium.

So here is this asshat on the radio and he says:

ML – “Let’s go to a caller. I’ll punch up some cracker in Georgia listening to us on some cracker station in Georgia – probable call letters WGOD. Some cracker – you’re on the air.”

SC – “I just want to thank all the Marxists who voted for Obama. Their sales are through the roof.”

ML – “Whose sales?”

SC – “All the local gun stores.”

Let’s not forget, everyone, that the true fabric of this country is held together with stitches of uneducated, corn-poned inbreeds who fear everything aside from their own depravity. No matter how progressive as it may seem to have elected a not-old-white-guy as President…keep in mind that Larry the Cable Guy is still very popular and, as such, there is still much to fear.

This Is The Thing You Should Do To Some London Broil

We went shopping yesterday and found an immaculate deal on two gigantic slabs of beef.

EXTREME BEEF VALUE

Typical London Broil wisdom says marinate it in carbolic acid for a few weeks, grill it, cut it excruciatingly thin against the grain of the connective tissue and there is your meal.

Not me, though.

I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel. A tough cut of meat is a war, and braising is my weapon…not acidic marinades. Here I will describe – with visual aids, my favorite method for cooking large blocks of cheap red meat.

Barack Obama

Dude won.

Let’s elect a fucking President

So Election Day is upon us, and one extremely important truth remains self evident, yet buried beneath the blizzard of finger pointing and smear campaigns. That fact being that, come January…George W. Bush will be packing up his shit and leaving the White House forever. That is a good thing, regardless of whichever figurehead moves into his old room. Change is coming. Of course, the Obama camp will have you believe that a John McCain victory in today’s election is tantamount to a G.W.B. 3rd term. Meanwhile, the McCain camp will have you believe that Obama’s first act as President will be to erect a likeness of Karl Marx on top of the Capitol Building.

Both camps, of course, are full of shit and trying to scare the votes out of the old, ignorant or otherwise indecisive who are either afraid of their own instincts or don’t have a Church or overbearing parent to tell them for whom to vote.

I’ve always cast my lot with the person that frightens or disturbs me least. I believe that deep down, anybody who earns the nod to run for President from either party is a slimy, eely sonofabitch who really is not interested in helping anyone other than himself and his close friends. Is that a tad dramatic, probably, but its better than basing my decision on what a talk show host or man of the cloth tells me, and beyond the bullshit, the choice for me this election is fairly simple.

Halloween Party 08

Back in the day when my wife and I were not married and we lived rent-free in my parents’ basement, we threw pretty raucous Halloween parties every year. They came to a halt for a couple years due to a) moving out b) being broke and c) having a baby. This year, though, because we are no longer living in an apartment and because we have a very independent 20 month old daughter who doesn’t mind bing babysat, we decided, at the urging of our good friend, to have another Halloween party. The home we are living in had a Noah-esque flood a month or two ago and the basement essentially went from “finished” to “kinda-sorta-finished.” Most of the furniture got ruined an we had to tear up the carpet, so it has been essentially empty since the clean up, waiting for an event of some kind or another to make some use of it. After about an hour of hiding random crap in the closet and laundry room and 4 or 5 hours of decoration (spread out over the course of the week leading up to Saturday the 1st), the basement was up and ready to go for what turned out to be a pretty fun time.

I will let photographic evidence do the rest.