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Things I cook, eat or want to eat.

Diet Diary - Week One

Posted by Anthony on June 14, 2008

I am fat and unattractive. My fatness has become a hindrance when it comes to important things like chasing my daughter around, having sex, golfing, climbing stairs and wearing clothes. So I decided to stop eating like a big fat pig all day long and start eating like a bird. An anorexic bird.
Breakfast

  • 1 egg (fried, scrambled or omletted)
  • 1 piece of wheat toast
  • 1/2 cup of muesli

Snack (2 hours after breakfast)

  • 1 container of yogurt

Lunch

  • 1 cup of pasta OR
  • 1 boring ass sandwich
  • 1 can of Coke

Snack

  • Small salad with balsamic vinegar

Dinner

  • Meager portion of whatever we are having

I have been spacing out my eating every couple hours or so just to keep my metabolic metabolisms going and some days I have skipped a snack here or there. I have also cut out beer like a sonofabitch. I have had 4 beers since Monday. That really blows.

I don’t like dieting, but when I am done and I look like what’s his face from the Machinist, it’ll be all worth it.

Posted in Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

Recipe Collection: Roasted Italian Sausage & Veggies

Posted by Anthony on September 8, 2007

This one is about as simple and versatile as it gets. Our demonstration calls for:

1-1 1/2 lb of Italian Sausage (we like hot, you can use mild if you are a spicy food wuss)
2 Green Bell Peppers (red, yellow and/or orange would certainly work)
3-5 Cloves of Garlic (can never have too much garlic)
1 Onion (medium-large should suffice)
4 Potatoes (we used small Russets, red would probably work better)
Rosemary, Thyme, Red Pepper Flake, Salt, Pepper (use whatever seasonings you like)

Read the rest of this entry »

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Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA

Posted by Anthony on September 3, 2007

So on Friday I discovered a wonderful little place called Binny’s Beverage Depot. I have long known of it’s existence, but never paid it a visit before, out of fear that I would not be able to leave without having spent hundreds of hours and dollars that I did not have to waste. I was given an unexpected $20, though, and decided I would take my half ($10 went to the wife’s Starbucks addiction) and go buy some beer. I have been buying most of my beer at Dominick’s when we do our grocery shopping just out of convenience, but inspired by an internet discussion with a brewmaster friend of mine I decided to seek out something a little more expensive higher in quality.

My intent was to pickup some Three Floyds Gumballhead, which I have heard good things about. After arriving at Binny’s (and after I was done staggering like Fred Sanford in front of the massive Wall-O-Beer) it became quickly apparent that I would not be purchasing what I had driven the 10 minutes for. Gumballhead is only available by the bottle (32 ouncer, IIRC), but it was close to $10 per. While I am willing to bet that it is worth it, when I only have $10 to spend on beer for the entire month, common sense begs me to pick up more than a single serving.

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Posted in Food & Drink | 6 Comments »

Recipe Collection: El Cid Chili

Posted by Anthony on August 18, 2007

This recipe was given to me by someone else, so I want to say right off the bat that this is not my own and I am, in no way, trying to pass it off as my own. It is, however, the best chili I have ever eaten - ever - and was one of the highlights of Superbowl XLI for us.

El Cid Chili

You will need:

Olive oil for browning
2 lbs. sirloin steak, cut into 1″ cubes
1/2 lb. lean ground beef
12 oz. chorizo (casing removed) cut into 1/2″ cubes
1 large yellow onion (chopped)
1/4 cup chili powder
1 tbl. garlic salt
2 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. dried basil
2 cans (14.5 oz.) beef broth
2 cans (14.5 oz.) peeled whole tomatoes, undrained
2 cans (15.5 oz.) kidney beans (optional)
1 cup cilantro, chopped
1 cinnamon stick
3 bay leaves
2 green jalapenos, slit lengthwise 3 times each
1 tbl. yellow cornmeal
Dash of worstershire (optional)
Salt and pepper to taste
Sour cream/cheddar for garnish, if desired

***
1. Place oil in large pot over medium heat and brown sirloin in batches. Remove to a bowl with a slotted spoon.

2. Brown ground beef, chorizo, and onions. Return sirloin to pot.

3. Stir in remaining ingredients (except garnishes). Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 2 hours. Stir occasionally to break up the tomatoes.

4. Before serving, discard cinnamon stick, bay leaves, and jalapenos. Serve with garnishes.

Makes 8 servings.

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I have complicated feelings about Rachel Ray.

Posted by Anthony on June 25, 2007

First and foremost, she annoys me perhaps more than any other person on television. I simply cannot tolerate more than a few minutes of her. I am all for people being happy, but she seriously needs to chill the fuck out, and she seriously needs to stop using those stupid fucking cutesy words like “delish, yummo and stoup.” Stoup is the most glaring offense, in my mind. She tells us that it is a dish thicker than a soup and thinner than a stew. Just fucking pick one. I have had 2 of her “stoups,” and…guess what…they’re just fucking soups. Neither is anything like a stew. STOP SAYING STOUP.

Also, quit trying to carry 100 things at a time. Your cabinets and not far from your counter at all. You can turn around and grab things as you need them. I get the whole shtick, you are in a hurry. You do everything fast because you are over-caffeinated and hyper. It’s not funny. It is dumb. It’s one thing to save yourself an extra trip from the car or from the basement to get supplies…you are 3 feet away. It’s dumb.

Her porno-like overreactions of when she tastes something she likes (no matter if she cooked it or not) also need to go. You cannot possibly like food that much.

What complicates all of this for me is that, although her television shows and radio commercials annoy me to no end, her recipes are actually not bad. We have made a few of her soups and the results have been tasty. I am not one of those people who thinks she is revolutionizing cooking. She is not a chef. I know that, and I don’t care. Not everyone needs a fancy degree to cook well…but goddamn I wish she were less annoying and perky…and less stupid and airheaded and flaky so I could actually like her or enjoy her show.

I just wish the Food Network would devote the time and resources they give to Rachel Ray to Mr. Alton Brown. Why can’t he have 5 or 6 programs on everyday?

Posted in Food & Drink, Movies & Television, Ramblin' Man | No Comments »

Father’s Day

Posted by Anthony on June 18, 2007

Today was my first Father’s Day as a Dad. I enjoyed it immensely. Last night, we hung out at the In-laws’ place. We dined on Italian sausage & potato wedges. I consumed much Goose Island 312 while sitting barefoot on their deck. It was a wonderful evening and I even got to see my sister in-law and her girlfriend, who have been M.I.A. for the past few weeks. My daughter, Grace, turned 4 months old on Wednesday. She had a cranky day yesterday, as she is beginning the wonderful process of teething, but even her crankiness could not ruin a wonderful, relaxing night with family. I received a beautiful framed picture of Grace that reads “Happy Father’s Day,” as well as a “Rookie Dad” t-shirt and hat combination as my first Father’s day gift.

We left Streamwood around 11 pm, came home and enjoyed some ice cream (wife and me…not the baby lol). Grace went to bed around 1:30, which is a little early for her. We have been trying to get her to bed earlier the past week, as prior to that she would stay up until 4 am and wake up at 11 or 12 the next day. As nice as it was to get 8 hours of straight sleep, it was making getting to work on time very difficult. Her new bed time is more reasonable, but she has been getting up a lot more often through the night to eat. Not quite sure why that is, but hopefully as the new time sets in a little more, she will go back to sleeping through the night. Our first wake up call was 6 am on the nose. We zombied our way through a feeding and went back to bed around 6:30 or 7. She got us up again at 10 or 11 or something like that. From then on, I just stayed up, as it was Father’s Day. I had numerous sporting events to watch. In addition to that, my parents were coming by for dinner. We were going to make a 3 pound top round that wife’s Mom had given us a few weeks earlier.

Around 12:30, we began thawing the frozen meat and preparing the marinade, which consisted of Lawry’s 30 minute mesquite marinade with lime juice, some worsteshire sauce, minced garlic, fresh lime juice and brown sugar. We got it in the fridge at 1 with the intent of giving it between 3 and 4 hours of time in the chill chest. At that point, I sat down and prepared myself for an afternoon of racing, golf and baseball.

The U.S. Grand Prix was on FOX. I have been watching a lot more racing recently, and since my buddy John made the trek out to Indy this week to see his boy Lewis Hamilton run, I figured I should watch. F1 is fantastically cool. The Indy 500 is fun because it happens once a year and because of the sheer speed, but street courses (you know left AND right turns) are more fun to watch. There is more planning and thinking to be done by the driver and the team, more variables and more action. I particularly like the on-board telemetry they show, when the driver is shifting and braking and the engines drop down to 6,500 RPM from 9 or 10,000. Plus, the races are only 73 laps, so you do not have to devote 3 or 4 hours to watch one race, which is nice if you are not a fanatic. Hamilton had won the pole position on Saturday and ended up winning the race rather handily. This all after winning the Canadian Grand Prix the weekend before. This Hamilton kid is good, and he’s got a good car too. He’s gotten me to pay more attention and hopefully others will follow suit, because F1 is so much more compelling than NASCAR.

During the race, I was, of course, flipping between the Cubs and Sox games. The Sox are in the midst of an awful streak in which they are floundering against bad AL and NL teams, while on the North Side, the Cubs have turned it up and are playing solid ball. Plus, on Saturday, the Cubs and Padres had a bench clearing brawl and Carlos Zambrano took a no-hitter into the 8th inning…so I was trying to keep an eye on both teams. Today’s games were rather uneventful, though, and I plan to do an in-depth post on both teams sometime this week, so I will digress and talk a little about what I was most excited about watching today, the U.S. Open at Oakmont Country Club in Pennsylvania.

Today’s final group in the Open was the young Aussie Aaron Baddeley and some guy named Tiger Woods. Baddeley came into Sunday with a 2 stroke lead on Tiger, which was erased on the very first, which Baddeley triple bogeyed. He never got his bearings after that and shot a disappointing +10 (80) and nowhere near the leaders.

As per usual for the U.S. Open, Oakmont was a torture chamber, with impossibly thick rough and impossibly fast greens. Many people bemoan how challenging this major is setup every year, but I personally love it. These are the best golfers in the entire world, and I would rather see a tightly contested match with numerous people in the hunt on Sunday than the silly tournaments where someone has it won on Saturday because he is twelve under. I like to see the people with the best game, the best swings and the best equipment challenged. I want to see them have to make difficult shots and difficult putts, and I want to see them punished for not playing consistently, and Oakmont gave us plenty of that, with only a handful of rounds throughout the whole weekend under par.

Talking with my buddy Brandon yesterday, we had made our picks. He chose Stephen Ames, who was 4 strokes back, and I went with my guy Jim Furyk who started the day 5 or 6 strokes back. Both gentlemen flirted with the lead all day, including a couple holes where Ames had the outright lead, but he ended up dropping down after spending a few too many holes in the rough. Furyk made a late charge, but it turned out to be a little too late, as he would end up tied with Tiger for 2nd. Angel Cabrera of Argentina was the pace car for most of the round today and was in the clubhouse with a 1 stroke lead over Tiger Woods with 2 holes to play. After a par on 17, Tiger need a birdie to force a playoff, but his second shot on 18 from the intermediate rough carried well past the hole, leaving a long putt for birdie, which he was unable to sink, giving Cabrera his first major win of his career. I am all about Tiger NOT winning, and Angel seems like a good dude, so I was happy. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, it was an exciting hour or two of golf, with the leader in the clubhouse so early and so many names still in the hunt, with Ames, Furyk, Tiger, Niclas Fasth and Steve Stricker all posing the threats throughout the Sunday round. In the end, though, Cabrera managed the course the best and deserved to win this tournament.

Of course, the tournament ended around 6:30…other things happened during that time. Earlier on in the day, right after I took our frozen pizza out of the oven, Grace had a major poo-poo diaper blowout which required an impromptu bath and outfit change. After that, Nik fed her and I straightened up the apartment a bit since we were having company later. Dusted all the tables, vacuumed the cat hair off the couches and cleaned the bathroom. By that point, we were nearing 0 hour on the meat. Since we had used such an acidic marinade, we did not want to leave it on the meat too long, so after 3 1/2 hours, we pulled it out of the fridge and I began prepping the (boxed) mashed potatoes and (canned) frenched green beans. I also fired up the grill and got it hot for searing purposes.

I gave the meat 5 minutes of sear per side, backed off and let it cook low on each side for 5 more minutes. Right when I was taking it’s temperature for doneness, my parents arrived. I buzzed them in, returned to the grill and took off the meat. I let it sit in a glass baking dish for 15 minutes while I prepared the taters and beans. Onces the sides were done I cut the meat and plated it, and reduced the jus with some Jack Daniel’s. I was running around like crazy and did not have a chance to snap a photograph, but it came out very well and everyone seemed to like it.

My Dad & I watched the end of the U.S. Open while we ate. They hung around for another hour or so after dinner, and Grace let both Grandma & Grandpa hold her and let Aunt Julia play with her. It was very nice. After they left, Grace crashed for an hour or two, which gave Nikki the opportunity to run to the store for supplies…and by supplies, I of course mean Ben & Jerry’s Oatmeal Cookie Crunch.

Grace fell asleep while I held her on my chest. While she and Nik were both out, it allowed me to catch up with our Comcast DVR, which has been roundly neglected of late. I had the most recent episode of the History Channel show “The Universe.” This past Tuesday’s episode dealt with some of the extra-terrestrial ways that the Earth might come to an end. Asteroids, expansion of the sun, the Big Rip and my personal favorite, gamma ray bursts from distant supernovas that will vaporize our atmosphere and everything else on the planet. No warning. No survivors. That would be something else. When Nik returned, I asked her to snap a picture of my little girl and me, a memento of our first Father’s Day together.

fathersday.jpg
I am the one with the beard.

About 10 minute after Grace awoke from her coma, Nikki’s parents arrived, straight from a different Father’s Day celebration. I made a pot of coffee. Her brother Chris also came by a little later, and we all hung out, talked and played with the baby all night. We even gave Grace a quick bath before they left. She seemed a little perplexed by everyone watching her get washed, and she was moderately cranky afterwards, but by and large, it was just a nice, fun night spent with family. I don’t think I could have drawn up a more enjoyable first Father’s Day weekend.

Posted in FORE!, Food & Drink, Life Happens, Sports | No Comments »

There ought to be a law!

Posted by Anthony on June 12, 2007

Can someone please explain to me why the pimple-ridden teenage cashier at Dominick’s cannot drag my bottle of whiskey across the scanner at the checkout? I understand that minors are not allowed to sell alcohol, but the cashier is not the one selling it to me. The store is. There is no reason I have ever been given that adequately explains the reason why my checkout process has to come to a screeching halt while we wait for the sixty-something cashier down a few lanes to put her whole line on hold, walk over, punch in some numbers, swipe the bottle, check my ID, punch in more numbers and then give the whole show back to the teenager. It doesn’s make a damn bit of sense. I am still giving the cash or payment to a minor…just because he or she did not scan the bottle makes a damn bit of difference? I think not.

There needs to be a goddamn reform in this stupid law, or some forward thinking store has to keep the fucking kids stocking shelves and pushing carts and let the goddamn adults run the checkouts. Everyone in line hates it when the cashier starts calling out “21!” I try to pick out cashiers that are of-age, but sometimes there is only 1 or 2 lines open and neither of them are old enough. It is dumb and needs to be rethought.

After all of this frustration, though, at least I was able to pick up a bottle of Woodford Reserve on mega clearance for $15.99. Frustration aside, it will be all worth it tonight when I crack that puppy open after work and put it on some ice.

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Fuckin’ BBQ

Posted by Anthony on June 12, 2007

Summer is a time for BBQ, and while our apartment balcony and budget do not afford me the opportunity to do any proper barbecuing, I have finally found a place near home (that isn’t Famous Dave’s) where I can purchase some real-deal BBQ for the purposes of eating.

Now, barbecue is a term that has been generically applied to get-togethers where meats are grilled over open flame, but true BBQ is food cooked in a low temperature, high smoke environment for a long period of time, and most BBQ aficionados (with the exception of those from Texas), will also agree that true BBQ means pork.

If there is anything that may challenge bacon as the titleholder of My Favorite Porcine Food Application, it would be pulled pork, which is made from the shoulder or boston butt. Typically, I like my pulled pork on a bun, lightly dressed with BBQ sauce and some cole slaw…but the brilliant, wonderful souls at Brothers’ Ribs in Palatine have decided that good pulled pork does not need to be relegated simply to buns.

Let me introduce you to the best french fried potato dish of all time: Smothered Fries.

That would be a layer of french fries, covered in cheddar cheese, covered in pulled pork and covered in their delicious…DELICIOUS sauce. It is on the appetizer portion of the menu, but it is filling enough to be consumed as an entree and sinfully comforting enough to be consumed as a desert. I am still having trouble fully grasping the awesome power and beauty of this dish.

Another appetizer we have partaken of are the onion rings, which are also quite good. Crunchy, peppery batter and big, thick onions. They also are not too greasy, which is nice when you are trying to eat while holding your daughter. They offer a regular size, which is 8 rings, and a large size which contains 12. We got the regular size and it was more than enough to accompany our lunch with some left over to have with the frozen pizza we made for dinner.

I had the catfish lunch special. $7 for two battered, fried catfish filets with slaw and fries. Good stuff, although some house tartar sauce would be a welcome change to the packaged condiment crap that came with it.

I have also had the pulled pork sandwich, which is fantastically splendiferous. As I mentioned, it is lightly dressed in their own award winning sauce, an intelligent design feature given the strength of the sauce, which is ample. Nice big kaiser roll, too. Not some frilly bun. Their slaw is slightly bitter because it is not very creamy, so the red cabbage bites through and plays well with the spicy sweetness of the sauce and juicy tenderness of the pork.

Wife had the beef brisket sandwich. I had a bite. It was good, but I am not huge fan of brisket. It is good but, as I said earlier, when I think BBQ, I think pork. The tough brisket cut does take well to a good long smoking, but I do not think it takes on the flavor as well. I like my tough beef cuts marinated, seared and braised, personally.

I, unfortunately, have yet to try the ribs here, but based on the numerous awards and based on the praise I have read and heard from others, I am looking forward to them.

Like any eatery worth it’s salt, it is completely devoid of kitschy, nonsensical decor. There are some things hanging on the walls, but nothing that demands attention or discussion, and none of it is prefabricated to look older than it actually is. No fancy place settings or small tables for two. Just benches and chairs with picnic table cloths and community condiments and napkins. Furthermore, the 3 times I have been there (ate in once, brought it home twice), the soundtrack has been wonderful. Either very well constructed mix cds or a satellite station. Yes. Journey. Styx. Allman Brothers. Dire Straits. Heart. Heard all of them while waiting around for my delicious, reasonably priced food.

I expect to be spending more of my time and money at Brothers’ Ribs. Properly sized menu at proper prices, good food and good atmosphere, daily lunch and dinner specials…if this place starts up a microbrew, I think we may have to move within walking distance.

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A day at the races. And a soup recipe.

Posted by Anthony on June 11, 2007

As half of my two readers know, I am a big fan of The Score, Chicago sports radio 670 am, particularly the weekday afternoon show, Boers & Bernstein, which airs from 2-6 pm Monday through Friday. All summer long they have been taking their show on the road and broadcasting live from establishments in the Chicagoland area and giving away tickets to concerts and sports events. On Friday June 8th, the boys were going to be at beautiful Arlington Park in Arlington Heights. Due to the proximity of this location to where I live and work, and due to the fact that I can take extended lunch breaks, I decided I would try to make it out there for a few hours to meet the guys I listen to every day, as well as do a little wagering.

Over the course of my listenership to the station (started listening 9 or 10 years ago in the car with my Dad, but only started listening regularly on my own 5 years ago or so), I have developed odd “friendships” with people at the station, both on and off the air, through calling in and via internetting like email and MySpace. These relationships have given me interesting insight into certain aspects of the station and the business, and also given me extra incentive to attend the live broadcasts, as I am normally a pretty reserved person who does not command much attention in a crowd.

Dan & Terry were giving out V.I.P. packages to their broadcast at Arlington throughout the week via text messaging, a medium at which I happen to excel, and on Wednesday I actually managed to win one of them. Never having won something from the radio after numerous attempts, I was fairly excited. The package included 2 free admissions to the park and a parking pass, admission to the special “VIP Section,” as well as “free food and drink.” I was fairly excited. I called up my brother Alex and invited him to tag along, as I know he likes the show, as well as gambling. Since he also is part of the family business, he agreed to go to work with me after the track, which would allow us to stay for an extra race or two without having to sacrifice a late night at work, something noone likes on a Friday.

When Friday rolled around, I was excited. Ever since the baby, I have not had many opportunities to get out and have some fun other than the occasional golf outing. Not only would I be drastically shortening my workday to go see my guys broadcast live, but I would even have some cash to gamble with!

After some initial confusion as to where the Score was set up at, we made our way to the grandstand where the broadcast area was setup amidst the wooden benches that line the homestretch. The “VIP Section” was just a roped off area of about 10 benches which we received dorky green wristbands to allow us admittance to, and the “free food and drink” turned out to be pizza and canned soft drinks that had been sitting out in the sun. While that was a bit of a let down (I am a big fan of free things), the perfect weather and wonderful ambiance at Arlington more than made up for it. Plus…come on…I am at the track with my bro on a Friday afternoon instead of at work scrubbing shitters! Can’t complain!

By the time we got situated and settled in, Alex, who had about $100 more to gamble with than I, got right to placing bets. It was about 5 minutes until first post, and I decided not to rush it. I had $23 to bet, and I figured I would sit out the first race and use the time to try and decipher the cryptic thoroughbred program, which is much more confusing than the harness programs. Since I did not have the opportunity to have 2 or 3 bets in each race, I wanted to try and gather as much information as possible. I wanted to bet smarter.

After the 4th I was out of money, and Alex was up about $40 or 50. Some of his winnings were attributable directly to Dan & Terry. The 3rd race was sponsored by WSCR and the Boers & Bernstein show. Not long after we had gotten there, Dan mentioned (on-air) that they liked a horse named Salty Talker. In the book he was listed at 20-1, but by race time he was down to 10 or 11, I think. I put him in an exacta and Alex put $4 across the board on him. Salty Talker ended up winning that race, and he picked up a nice little payday. Had the damn 6 horse not faded at the end, I would have hit that exacta and pocketed a couple hundred bucks or so myself. Anyway, after realizing I was busted, Alex leant me $10, and I actually managed to turn that sawbuck into $23.40 in the 5th and 6th races, which (technically) put me up 40 cents at the end of the day…as I arrived at the track with $23 in my pocket and left with $23.40…realistically, though I was down $9.60, but Alex was feeling generous and didn’t ask for his ten bucks back.

Right before 5th race and during a commercial break, I went up to Terry to thank him for the tip on Salty Talker. I also introduced myself to Dan a few minutes later. It was nice to talk to the guys who keep me entertained every afternoon in person. Shared my old experiences at harness tracks with Terry and Dan recommended that we join Costco for cheap diapers and wipes, but after not seeing Pampers on their website, we will probably just stick to Target.

Alex and I left after the 6th, our pockets negligably heavier than they were when we arrived. More important than winning a little scratch, though, was getting out of work on a gorgeous Friday afternoon and spending some time in the sun watching the ponies run.

After finishing up at work, I returned home where the wife and I made our sausage soup. Here is the recipe.

Fill up your largest stock pot with 3 boxes of chicken stock, a bag of lentils and large can of diced tomatoes. Put the spurs to it and bring it to a boil. Once boiling, reduce to a simmer and add in a bag of shredded carrots. While the stock is heating up, brown 3 lbs of Italian sausage in a large skillet with a little olive oil. Once browned, add in 2 bay leaves, 6 sprigs of fresh rosemary, salt, pepper, and as much hot hungarian paprika as your senses will allow. Add in 2 medium chopped onions and 4-6 cloves of finely chopped/minced garlic. Once onions have softened and reduced a bit, add in 4 gilled and chopped portobello mushroom caps. Give the mushrooms some time and then add in 2 peeled baking potatoes, chopped into 1/4-1/2″ cubes. Give the whole mixture a few minutes to meld before adding it to the simmering stock. Bring back to a boil, then reduce back to a simmer. Simmer for as long as you like, stirring occasionally. About 5-10 minutes before you plan to serve, add in some kale or swiss chard, rinsed and removed from the stalk. Add it on top of the soup and let it wilt before stirring it in.

Serve in a bowl with a cold glass of crisp beer and pumpernickel or rye bread.

Posted in Food & Drink, Life Happens, Sports | No Comments »

An open letter to the maginficent bastards at Ben & Jerry’s.

Posted by Anthony on May 29, 2007

To whom it may concern:

You’ve got to be kidding me.

It is one thing to put pretzels in your ice cream. Anyone can do that. You two, though, fill the pretzels with peanut butter, dip them in fudge and then put them in vanilla malt ice cream with peanut butter and fudge in it.

This is some sort of sick joke, right?

I am going to be 600 pounds before all is said and done. This is ridiculous.

It all started with Karamel Sutra, one of your simpler ice creams. Delicious. Rich. Filling. Expensive. Worth it. Then, I was perusing other flavors and cam across Black & Tan. Ice cream made from stout? Is this heaven? After eating it, I determined that yes…yes this is heaven. Then I tried my wife’s personal favorite, Pistachio Pistachio. Pistachio ice cream with pistachio nuts in it. That is about as uncomplicated a flavor as you offer, and it was still insanely delicious. On a whim (ok, Ill admit it…I tried it because of the name) I picked up some Vermonty Python one day. Coffee liqueur ice cream with cookie crumbles and fudge cows. Christ. Do you guys offer anything that tastes like shit? I would appreciate that…it would make me feel marginally better about myself.

This Chubby Hubby stuff, though, is insane.

Fudge dipped peanut butter filled pretzels.

Why not just add a fucking bag of trail mix.

You guys are fucking insane and ridiculous and I hate you and I love you.

Love,
-Anthony

Posted in Food & Drink | 1 Comment »