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Golfing Misadventures

Exercise Diary: Day Two

Posted by Anthony on June 18, 2008

I planned to start working out to compliment my dieting on Monday. Unfortunately, the baby kept wifey and I up for almost then entire night, so I was far too exhausted to exhaust myself first thing in the morning on Monday and I pushed it until Tuesday. After a good night’s sleep, I got up at 9:30 to get my work in. I did a vigorous mile on the elliptical and then started a mobility workout laid out by the Titleist Performance Institute. For the uninitiated, that site is pretty spectacular, particularly because it is absolutely FREE to join. It is chock full of videos ranging from swing drills to exercise and stretches and weights for the golfer who is looking to repair or elevate his/her game.

That’s right…I’m using a workout plan specifically designed to help golfers.

Would you expect anything less?

In all fairness, though, the stretching routine I am doing (Mobility Workout A for those of you who sign up for a FREE account) is no joke and as I sit here and type this having just completed my routine, I am in all sorts of pain in places that I didn’t know I had - which is good. It probably doesn’t help that I am doing a few more reps than the workout guidelines recommend, but I like to push myself and feel like I am actually accomplishing something.

I have decided that my years of inactivity has rendered my body stiff and unyielding, so instead of focusing on morphing myself into Bruce Lee, it would benefit me to work on my range of motion as I lose weight. Chasing my daughter around playgrounds and trying to squeeze my fat and unflexible ass down tube slides with her has become embarrassing, so I will hold off on the serious weight training until I am at my target weight (which I haven’t even set yet). I feel like my upper body gets enough of a workout slinging mops and pushing around 2000 rpm buffing machines all day and my lower body tackles far more stairs than the average bloke (I refuse to take the elevator at work unless I am moving something I cannot carry), so for the time being, I am going to work on being able to touch my toes before I work on being able to bench 400 lbs.

Stretching fucking hurts.

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MY KINGDOM FOR A PING REDWOOD ZB!!!

Posted by Anthony on June 18, 2008

I cannot fucking believe that this fucking thing retails for $250.00 Goddamned dollars. My brief encounter with this fantastic flat stick occurred in the pro shop at the Top Golf location in Wood Dale and it was a heavenly, religious experience. It was as though I was not even holding a golf club…it was like I was just willing the ball to the cup with my brain waves. Everything about it is perfect. The weight and balance and grip and alignment and look and feel…there is really nothing negative I can say about this putter after lagging ten or fifteen practice balls with it, and prior to falling in love with this beautiful blade I tried everything else they had to throw at me. Odyssey White Hot. Odyssey Black. Cleveland VP1…I tried all the high-end putters they had and after the first ball I struck with the Redwood ZB I was hooked, and now I am fiending to add this to my bag…to replace my Top Flite PS01 which has served me well but seen better days. It will take strokes off my game but the cheapest I can find it is still too rich for my damn blood. With the economy bleeding from the asshole and gas prices trending towards “first born,” how am I supposed to explain to my wife that I need to spend over one third of my weekly pay on a piece of equipment for a game that I can barely afford to play more than 3 or 4 times a month?

So, in summation…does anyone have a 35″ Ping Redwood ZB they are looking to part with??? Or perhaps $250.00 they are looking to part with???

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2008 U.S. Open, or, How Tiger Learned to Stop Worrying & Step On Rocco Mediate’s Throat

Posted by Anthony on June 15, 2008

For those who have not been watching all weekend, the 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines in San Diego has been quite a roller coaster ride. Many lead changes and stories, the most important of which, of course, involve Tiger Woods. One month removed from left knee surgery and in obvious pain, Tiger came into Sunday leading the tournament at -3 after an absolutely inspired and unbelievable back 9 on Saturday that featured 2 birdies and an eagle. The first hole at Torrey Pines had given him fits all week and Sunday was no different. He pulled his drive over the gallery and into some thick, nasty grass. His attempt to get out of said thick, nasty grass resulted him being further ahead in the same thick, nasty grass. His attempt to get to the green from said thick, nasty grass was thwarted by some tree branches. In the end, Tiger put up a double bogey on the starting hole for a second straight day.

Rocco Mediate, on the other hand, played a steady, far less manic round today, as he had in the previous 3 days. Rocco spent most of the tournament near the top of the leaderboard, popping in and out of the first spot here and there, but always on the first page. Rocco posted 1 double bogey in four rounds to Tiger’s 4 doubles. Otherwise Rocco was all birdies (14), pars (46) and bogeys (11). Tiger, in addition to the 4 double bogeys, notched 3 eagles in his 72 holes.

Rocco was playing in the next-to-last group with Geoff Ogilvy and Tiger was playing in the final group with Lee Westwood who also was in it right up until the end. Mediate put up a 2-putt par on the 18th after pulling his drive into the first cut, ruining any chance of reaching the green in two. Westwood and Woods came into the 18th both needing an eagle to win or birdie to tie. Both men put their tee shots into fairway bunkers. Both men elected to lay up out of the sand, although Tiger’s lay up ran into the primary cut of rough and was laying in a depression that someone had played out of earlier.

He managed to put it on and left himself about a 10-12 foot putt to force a playoff. Westwood ended up away with about a 15 footer and choked away his chance to tie Mediate when his downhill putt lost speed and broke a foot or so before the cup. He tapped in for par to finish +1 for the Open.

Tiger looked over his putt for quite a while.

He putted.

The end result:

Red on Fridays.

Tiger’s putt was right edge and lipped around the back of the cup before dropping in on the left edge.

18 hole playoff.

My heart is saying “Rocco!” My heart, though, is soft as a grape and loves rooting for John Q. Everyman.

My brain and my sense of logic and reason, though, are screaming “TIGER!!!!!!” at the top their lungs. My brain, sense of logic and reason are a little more pragmatic and realize that, unless Tiger’s knee completely gives out and he has to golf from his knees like Tim Conway as Dorf, that he will win the playoff.

I’ll be up at 11 to watch the coverage. That’s for sure.

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6-5-08 Winnetka Golf Club…Seriously???

Posted by Anthony on June 7, 2008

I won a free foursome of golf at Winnetka Golf Course from a local sports radio station that I listen to everyday. The voucher also included 2 free riding gas carts because, let’s face it, walking 18 holes absolutely sucks unless you are going to get a big fat cardboard check on the 18th green when you are finished.

When I got the prize in the mail, I was dismayed to see that it was only valid Monday-Thursday. Personally, I prefer golfing during the week, but because Winnetka is about an hour away from me, it would require a day off work which means my Dad would have to cover my shift for me which also means that my Dad cannot go golfing with me, which sucks. So I invited my brother, brother in-law and my friend Matt (a producer at the afforementioned radio station) to join me in some free golfing fun on Thursday. Early in the week the forecast was not promising, calling for extreme heat and humidity and thunderstorms and lightning and hail and frogs and pestilence and death of the first born. Luckily, the storms came early and by the time I got up (9 am) for our 12:00 tee time, the precipitation had ended and did not look likely to return.

On our way to my Brother’s house, I got a text message from Matt who said he got called into work and could not make it. Although disappointing, I was not about to skip going and get 4 greens fees charged to my bank account (which doesn’t have enough to cover 4 greens fees, btw), so after unsuccessfully trying to find a 4th we pressed on. We hopped in the car, spent entirely too much time on Palatine Road, sang some metal, played some air guitar and finally located the course after missing the turn. We pulled into the parking lot to see an ominous sight. A little sign that stated “NO GAS CARTS TODAY.”

Oy.

We left our crap in the car and went into the clubhouse to see what was up. The lady working in the clubhouse, who was very nice, informed us that the No Gas Carts rule was in effect because they had gotten so much rain overnight and that, if we wanted to play, it would have to be walking with pull carts. I knew from the course’s website that we could just skip our tee time today without getting charged because of the no gas carts, but after the drive up there and having to take off of work and looking at the course and knowing that it was not nearly as nice as I had anticipated, we decided to just hoof it and see how things went. After the nice clubhouse lady showed us enough kindness as to not try and charge us for pull carts, we went back to the car to get our crap and I cursed us by saying “well at least being this close to the lake we get a nice, cool breeze.” For the record, at that moment, we were, in fact, experiencing a nice cool breeze. By the time we got our bags set up and made it to the first tee, I was not only exasperated from all the walking (car to clubhouse to car to tee…EXHAUSTING), but also because the sun was out, the air temperature was approximately 300 degrees (Kelvin) and the relative humidity was a robust 213%. After teeing off on the first hole and heading out towards our balls we quickly learned that Winnetka is, apparently, a billion feet below sea level and features no sewers or drainage of any kind because there was standing water everywhere except the tee boxes and greens, and the walk from the tee to the green was akin to walking through wet concrete.

Winnetka Golf Club is not a bad course by any means, but the conditions we experienced today coupled with the all around bummed attitude about how everything played out made for an interesting round to say the least. In the heat and mud the whole thing just felt like an onslaught of nondescript 400 yard par fours.

Well…I guess I shouldn’t call it a “round,” as round implies that we played all 18 holes. The truth is, after 9 holes we headed into the clubhouse with the hopes of pondering whether or not we would play the back 9 over cold Cokes and air conditioning. The decision of “FUCK THIS SHIT” was reached before my patty melt even made it to my mouth (the patty melt was much like the course, by the way, completely average and uninspiring). We packed up our shit and went home. It was brutal.

But fun.

Hole 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Out
Yardage 349 519 157 419 362 413 167 372 407 3165
Par 4 5 3 4 4 4 3 4 4 34
Alex 9 9 4 6 5 9 4 7 9 62
Chris 7 7 4 6 8 8 5 8 8 61
Me 5 10 3 10 7 5 5 6 7 58

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Fooling myself.

Posted by Anthony on July 19, 2007

Grace woke up at 6:30 this morning. Despite having gone to bed at 2 or 3 am last night…I was thrilled with this. Why? The Open Championship coverage started on TNT at 6 am. This year the Open is being held at the truly majestic Carnoustie Golf Links in Scotland, and because of the time delay, it makes for super early coverage here in the states, which, in turn, means I actually get to watch some first and second round golf for a change. Normally I get to watch an hour or so before I have to leave for work, but today I get at least 5 or more hours of watching the best players in the world play at one of the oldest and most storied courses in golf. One of the birthplaces of golf.

The thing about Carnoustie is that it is located right on the eastern coast of Scotland, so the weather changes by the day, or perhaps by the hour. When we awoke today, it was overcast, rainy and dreary at Carnoustie. All of the players were in long sleeves. Sweaters. Windbreakers. Tiger Woods was even wearing mittens to keep his hands warm between his shots. The temperature there was about 55°.

Now, the whole week here in Chicago has been hot and humid and muggy, so we have had the air conditioning on here in the apartment. We had a pretty hellacious thunder and lightning storm last night, the remnants of which were still lingering this morning. So the combination of the sun low in the sky, the dark clouds still on the horizon, the conditions in Scotland I have been watching all morning and the AC keeping it nice and chilly in here, I had convinced myself that it was a brisk autumn day outside. After I got Grace back to sleep, I brewed a nice strong pot of coffee, made some eggs and biscuits and huddled up in the darkened living room to watch golf while my forward thinking (read: NOT stupid) wife went straight the fuck back to bed.

Now the sun has broken through both at Carnoustie and here at home. The weather forecast says 75° which sounds pleasant until they mention the part about 90% humidity. So, while I am thrilled that I have gotten to watch all this golf, I am now realizing that the heat and lack of sleep is going to make for a rotten day at work and I feel daft for letting my eyes trick my brain.

P.S. John Daly lol.

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7-2-07 Apple Orchard…what a waste.

Posted by Anthony on July 5, 2007

I got some birthday money from the wife’s family on Sunday, and I was anxious to do some golfing. I debated on how I should spend the money, which totaled $60. Combined with a previous $4 that I had, it was a whopping $64 in mad money. That could buy me quite a few rounds of golf…but it could also buy me an oversize driver, something I have wanted for quite some time. I have grown sick of borrowing other people’s drivers on the tee box. After realizing that I would not have this sort of expendable windfall for quite some time (anything over $40 is a windfall to me), I decided to shop for a driver. Wal*Mart is the store of choice because…well…everything is moronically cheap there, so I stopped on my way to work Monday and picked out the Dunlop Super Loco 456cc driver.

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6-29-07 Maple Meadows East 9…redemption my ass.

Posted by Anthony on June 30, 2007

After my pathetic showing only 24 hours earlier, I was anxious to play again. To fix what I had done wrong. To redeem myself. My Uncle Ted, who is one of my favorite people to golf with, got out of work at 11 this morning and wanted to golf with my Dad. I planned on attending, providing the kiddo would allow for me to leave early enough. They wanted to tee off around noon. I woke up around 10. Baby didn’t wake up. Wifey didn’t wake up. I made some coffee and hopped on the internet for a while, when wifey came out of the bedroom and informed me she had trouble getting to sleep and was up until about 7 am. She kindly asked that, should the baby wake up and not go back to sleep, that I stay home and take care of her so she could get some more rest. I kindly obliged, and when the baby woke up around 11, I kinda felt my opportunity to golf today was gone. 15 or 20 minutes later, Grace was done eating and Nikki was heading back to bed. Nik said that if Grace fell asleep and stayed asleep I could just leave for golf if there was still time, though.

After a diligent burping, some singing and rocking, Grace did fall back asleep. I wrapped her up and put her in her bassinet, hoping against hope that both she and the wife would be out for a few hours. Meanwhile, I pooped, cleaned up my coffee mess, had some cherry pie and informed my Dad that I would likely be able to make it, so long as they were willing to wait until 1230 or so. He agreed. I checked back in on my gals and they were both out, so I, quietly as I could, gathered up my shit and left the house at 12 on the nose.

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6-28-07 Fox Run…worst round of all time.

Posted by Anthony on June 29, 2007

A couple weeks after my first Father’s Day and the day after my 26th birthday, I got the opportunity to go golfing. This was set up for a while. My brother and father were going to head up to my nape of the neck to play 9 before work. The original plan was to try Palatine Hills, which looks fantastic, but I never set up a tee time and they ended up being booked solid until noon. Same thing went for Buffalo Grove. Interested to play somewhere different than our usual 3 or 4 standbys, and also somewhere a little longer than I am used to, we went to Fox Run in Elk Grove Village.

I have played Fox Run twice before, both last season. For being a park district course, it is very well manicured and maintained. It is a fairly long, straightforward layout with an average amount of hazards and trees. The course is, by and large though, is wide open. The fairways feel gigantic and leave plenty of room for error. The rough is thin and forgiving too. The place is in stark contrast to Rolling Knolls, which I thought would be a nice change of pace.

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6-22-07 Apple Orchard…can we play through?

Posted by Anthony on June 23, 2007

If I were a real estate agent, and Apple Orchard was a house you wanted information on, I would tell you that it was a “cozy handy-man’s dream.” This is, of course, just bullshit-speak for “small place that needs to be completely overhauled.” Now, by “complete overhaul” I do not mean to imply that the course has fallen into disrepair. It is a well maintained park district course…I just think that, for the tract it is on, that the layout, the hazards and the greens could be reworked to make it a little more challenging.

In the end, though, if you want to work on your short game and are looking to play 9 holes for 10 dollars in 60 minutes, then Apple Orchard is a fine choice. This is a staple course for first-time golfers in the tri-village area of Streamwood, Hanover Park and Bartlett.

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Father’s Day

Posted by Anthony on June 18, 2007

Today was my first Father’s Day as a Dad. I enjoyed it immensely. Last night, we hung out at the In-laws’ place. We dined on Italian sausage & potato wedges. I consumed much Goose Island 312 while sitting barefoot on their deck. It was a wonderful evening and I even got to see my sister in-law and her girlfriend, who have been M.I.A. for the past few weeks. My daughter, Grace, turned 4 months old on Wednesday. She had a cranky day yesterday, as she is beginning the wonderful process of teething, but even her crankiness could not ruin a wonderful, relaxing night with family. I received a beautiful framed picture of Grace that reads “Happy Father’s Day,” as well as a “Rookie Dad” t-shirt and hat combination as my first Father’s day gift.

We left Streamwood around 11 pm, came home and enjoyed some ice cream (wife and me…not the baby lol). Grace went to bed around 1:30, which is a little early for her. We have been trying to get her to bed earlier the past week, as prior to that she would stay up until 4 am and wake up at 11 or 12 the next day. As nice as it was to get 8 hours of straight sleep, it was making getting to work on time very difficult. Her new bed time is more reasonable, but she has been getting up a lot more often through the night to eat. Not quite sure why that is, but hopefully as the new time sets in a little more, she will go back to sleeping through the night. Our first wake up call was 6 am on the nose. We zombied our way through a feeding and went back to bed around 6:30 or 7. She got us up again at 10 or 11 or something like that. From then on, I just stayed up, as it was Father’s Day. I had numerous sporting events to watch. In addition to that, my parents were coming by for dinner. We were going to make a 3 pound top round that wife’s Mom had given us a few weeks earlier.

Around 12:30, we began thawing the frozen meat and preparing the marinade, which consisted of Lawry’s 30 minute mesquite marinade with lime juice, some worsteshire sauce, minced garlic, fresh lime juice and brown sugar. We got it in the fridge at 1 with the intent of giving it between 3 and 4 hours of time in the chill chest. At that point, I sat down and prepared myself for an afternoon of racing, golf and baseball.

The U.S. Grand Prix was on FOX. I have been watching a lot more racing recently, and since my buddy John made the trek out to Indy this week to see his boy Lewis Hamilton run, I figured I should watch. F1 is fantastically cool. The Indy 500 is fun because it happens once a year and because of the sheer speed, but street courses (you know left AND right turns) are more fun to watch. There is more planning and thinking to be done by the driver and the team, more variables and more action. I particularly like the on-board telemetry they show, when the driver is shifting and braking and the engines drop down to 6,500 RPM from 9 or 10,000. Plus, the races are only 73 laps, so you do not have to devote 3 or 4 hours to watch one race, which is nice if you are not a fanatic. Hamilton had won the pole position on Saturday and ended up winning the race rather handily. This all after winning the Canadian Grand Prix the weekend before. This Hamilton kid is good, and he’s got a good car too. He’s gotten me to pay more attention and hopefully others will follow suit, because F1 is so much more compelling than NASCAR.

During the race, I was, of course, flipping between the Cubs and Sox games. The Sox are in the midst of an awful streak in which they are floundering against bad AL and NL teams, while on the North Side, the Cubs have turned it up and are playing solid ball. Plus, on Saturday, the Cubs and Padres had a bench clearing brawl and Carlos Zambrano took a no-hitter into the 8th inning…so I was trying to keep an eye on both teams. Today’s games were rather uneventful, though, and I plan to do an in-depth post on both teams sometime this week, so I will digress and talk a little about what I was most excited about watching today, the U.S. Open at Oakmont Country Club in Pennsylvania.

Today’s final group in the Open was the young Aussie Aaron Baddeley and some guy named Tiger Woods. Baddeley came into Sunday with a 2 stroke lead on Tiger, which was erased on the very first, which Baddeley triple bogeyed. He never got his bearings after that and shot a disappointing +10 (80) and nowhere near the leaders.

As per usual for the U.S. Open, Oakmont was a torture chamber, with impossibly thick rough and impossibly fast greens. Many people bemoan how challenging this major is setup every year, but I personally love it. These are the best golfers in the entire world, and I would rather see a tightly contested match with numerous people in the hunt on Sunday than the silly tournaments where someone has it won on Saturday because he is twelve under. I like to see the people with the best game, the best swings and the best equipment challenged. I want to see them have to make difficult shots and difficult putts, and I want to see them punished for not playing consistently, and Oakmont gave us plenty of that, with only a handful of rounds throughout the whole weekend under par.

Talking with my buddy Brandon yesterday, we had made our picks. He chose Stephen Ames, who was 4 strokes back, and I went with my guy Jim Furyk who started the day 5 or 6 strokes back. Both gentlemen flirted with the lead all day, including a couple holes where Ames had the outright lead, but he ended up dropping down after spending a few too many holes in the rough. Furyk made a late charge, but it turned out to be a little too late, as he would end up tied with Tiger for 2nd. Angel Cabrera of Argentina was the pace car for most of the round today and was in the clubhouse with a 1 stroke lead over Tiger Woods with 2 holes to play. After a par on 17, Tiger need a birdie to force a playoff, but his second shot on 18 from the intermediate rough carried well past the hole, leaving a long putt for birdie, which he was unable to sink, giving Cabrera his first major win of his career. I am all about Tiger NOT winning, and Angel seems like a good dude, so I was happy. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, it was an exciting hour or two of golf, with the leader in the clubhouse so early and so many names still in the hunt, with Ames, Furyk, Tiger, Niclas Fasth and Steve Stricker all posing the threats throughout the Sunday round. In the end, though, Cabrera managed the course the best and deserved to win this tournament.

Of course, the tournament ended around 6:30…other things happened during that time. Earlier on in the day, right after I took our frozen pizza out of the oven, Grace had a major poo-poo diaper blowout which required an impromptu bath and outfit change. After that, Nik fed her and I straightened up the apartment a bit since we were having company later. Dusted all the tables, vacuumed the cat hair off the couches and cleaned the bathroom. By that point, we were nearing 0 hour on the meat. Since we had used such an acidic marinade, we did not want to leave it on the meat too long, so after 3 1/2 hours, we pulled it out of the fridge and I began prepping the (boxed) mashed potatoes and (canned) frenched green beans. I also fired up the grill and got it hot for searing purposes.

I gave the meat 5 minutes of sear per side, backed off and let it cook low on each side for 5 more minutes. Right when I was taking it’s temperature for doneness, my parents arrived. I buzzed them in, returned to the grill and took off the meat. I let it sit in a glass baking dish for 15 minutes while I prepared the taters and beans. Onces the sides were done I cut the meat and plated it, and reduced the jus with some Jack Daniel’s. I was running around like crazy and did not have a chance to snap a photograph, but it came out very well and everyone seemed to like it.

My Dad & I watched the end of the U.S. Open while we ate. They hung around for another hour or so after dinner, and Grace let both Grandma & Grandpa hold her and let Aunt Julia play with her. It was very nice. After they left, Grace crashed for an hour or two, which gave Nikki the opportunity to run to the store for supplies…and by supplies, I of course mean Ben & Jerry’s Oatmeal Cookie Crunch.

Grace fell asleep while I held her on my chest. While she and Nik were both out, it allowed me to catch up with our Comcast DVR, which has been roundly neglected of late. I had the most recent episode of the History Channel show “The Universe.” This past Tuesday’s episode dealt with some of the extra-terrestrial ways that the Earth might come to an end. Asteroids, expansion of the sun, the Big Rip and my personal favorite, gamma ray bursts from distant supernovas that will vaporize our atmosphere and everything else on the planet. No warning. No survivors. That would be something else. When Nik returned, I asked her to snap a picture of my little girl and me, a memento of our first Father’s Day together.

fathersday.jpg
I am the one with the beard.

About 10 minute after Grace awoke from her coma, Nikki’s parents arrived, straight from a different Father’s Day celebration. I made a pot of coffee. Her brother Chris also came by a little later, and we all hung out, talked and played with the baby all night. We even gave Grace a quick bath before they left. She seemed a little perplexed by everyone watching her get washed, and she was moderately cranky afterwards, but by and large, it was just a nice, fun night spent with family. I don’t think I could have drawn up a more enjoyable first Father’s Day weekend.

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