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Archive for the 'Life Happens' Category

Occurrences, Thoughts & Realities

George Carlin: 1937-2008

Posted by Anthony on June 23, 2008

The first time I saw a George Carlin performance was probably when I was between the ages of 12-15. I cannot recall exactly how old I was, but I know for sure that it was his HBO special at Carnegie Hall, which he filmed in 1982. For the record, I was only 1 year old in 1982, so I most certainly saw it in rerun. The whole special is great, but at that age the thing that I found most appealing was the end of the special which featured his unabridged list of filthy words you cannot say on tv. The bit was born 10 years earlier on his record “Class Clown” and the original list was only 7 words long (shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker & tits). To pare down a story that happened well before my time, Carlin’s original seven word list was a catalyst that lead to the FCC cracking down on what is and isn’t appropriate to be broadcast over open airwaves. Seeing as how I grew up my entire life under these FCC regulations, getting to see someone on tv swearing up a storm and using words that I dare not say and words that I didn’t even know at the time* was unbelievably exciting for me.

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Exercise Diary: Day Two

Posted by Anthony on June 18, 2008

I planned to start working out to compliment my dieting on Monday. Unfortunately, the baby kept wifey and I up for almost then entire night, so I was far too exhausted to exhaust myself first thing in the morning on Monday and I pushed it until Tuesday. After a good night’s sleep, I got up at 9:30 to get my work in. I did a vigorous mile on the elliptical and then started a mobility workout laid out by the Titleist Performance Institute. For the uninitiated, that site is pretty spectacular, particularly because it is absolutely FREE to join. It is chock full of videos ranging from swing drills to exercise and stretches and weights for the golfer who is looking to repair or elevate his/her game.

That’s right…I’m using a workout plan specifically designed to help golfers.

Would you expect anything less?

In all fairness, though, the stretching routine I am doing (Mobility Workout A for those of you who sign up for a FREE account) is no joke and as I sit here and type this having just completed my routine, I am in all sorts of pain in places that I didn’t know I had - which is good. It probably doesn’t help that I am doing a few more reps than the workout guidelines recommend, but I like to push myself and feel like I am actually accomplishing something.

I have decided that my years of inactivity has rendered my body stiff and unyielding, so instead of focusing on morphing myself into Bruce Lee, it would benefit me to work on my range of motion as I lose weight. Chasing my daughter around playgrounds and trying to squeeze my fat and unflexible ass down tube slides with her has become embarrassing, so I will hold off on the serious weight training until I am at my target weight (which I haven’t even set yet). I feel like my upper body gets enough of a workout slinging mops and pushing around 2000 rpm buffing machines all day and my lower body tackles far more stairs than the average bloke (I refuse to take the elevator at work unless I am moving something I cannot carry), so for the time being, I am going to work on being able to touch my toes before I work on being able to bench 400 lbs.

Stretching fucking hurts.

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Jobs I wish I had/was capable of doing

Posted by Anthony on June 8, 2008

-Groundskeeper at a golf course
-Stunt driver
-Baseball play-by-play man
-Writer
-Stanley Cup guy
-Mascot
-Short order cook/owner of a diner

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It’s too hot

Posted by Anthony on May 26, 2008

83 degrees fahrenheit is too hot.

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About the stunning lack of updates…

Posted by Anthony on September 28, 2007

I am working two jobs now. Monday-Friday, I get up at 4:30 am and I do not get home until 6:30 or 7 pm. By that time, I am pretty fucking wiped and I just want to spend time with my wife and daughter.

I will try to put in a little extra effort now that I am getting slightly more used to my schedule, but it’s been pretty damn hard to find the time.

I gotta start buying lottery tickets.

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WE LIVE BELOW TAPDANCING ELEPHANTS

Posted by Anthony on August 15, 2007

About 3 days after my wife and I reluctantly signed our third one year lease here at the lovely apartment that we have enjoyed living in for a couple years now, a family of pachyderms moved in above us. In that time, the ignorant hayseeds have turned their two bedroom living quarters into an official training ground for Ringling Brothers or perhaps the World Wrestling Federation (it will always be the WWF to me). In addition to the running, jumping, pounding and banging that has been waking our 6 month old daughter up from her sleep and naps, Joe Dirt and his assorted band of misfit morons, apparently unaware of a little thing called “gravity,” have seen fit to drop all sorts of miscellaneous debris from their balcony to ours. Now, I am not talking about the occasional bit of loose change…more like cigarettes ashes, butts and tobacco. Goobery, phlegm-filled spit. Wrappers. Garbage. Batteries. A nasty hoop earring. Shredded newspaper. Worst of all is the food and poop from the pet bunny that they are not allowed to have. All littering our otherwise placid and peaceful balcony - EVERY DAY.

The leader of this clan, a lanky white trash hillbilly whom I have overheard yelling “I’m so fucking sick of you” at his young kids, has two times approached us with insincere apologies and promises to address the excessive noise and littering problems, and nothing has changed. “I’m going to put a mat down on the balcony so stuff stops falling down on to yours.” A week later and I guess that enormous task has escaped his busy schedule of Coors consumption.

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The Internet

Posted by Anthony on August 5, 2007

So this site has been hurting for content lately, as you may have noticed. I have been working on a three or four fairly large posts for a while now and I was hoping to complete and release at least one or two of them by the end of last week. A combination of many events prevented me from doing so. Most of them were the typical time constraints of being a husband, father and full-time employee who loves to golf. There was one tragic, unfortunate event that diverted my attention, though, and I figured I should devote some time to it.

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Fooling myself.

Posted by Anthony on July 19, 2007

Grace woke up at 6:30 this morning. Despite having gone to bed at 2 or 3 am last night…I was thrilled with this. Why? The Open Championship coverage started on TNT at 6 am. This year the Open is being held at the truly majestic Carnoustie Golf Links in Scotland, and because of the time delay, it makes for super early coverage here in the states, which, in turn, means I actually get to watch some first and second round golf for a change. Normally I get to watch an hour or so before I have to leave for work, but today I get at least 5 or more hours of watching the best players in the world play at one of the oldest and most storied courses in golf. One of the birthplaces of golf.

The thing about Carnoustie is that it is located right on the eastern coast of Scotland, so the weather changes by the day, or perhaps by the hour. When we awoke today, it was overcast, rainy and dreary at Carnoustie. All of the players were in long sleeves. Sweaters. Windbreakers. Tiger Woods was even wearing mittens to keep his hands warm between his shots. The temperature there was about 55°.

Now, the whole week here in Chicago has been hot and humid and muggy, so we have had the air conditioning on here in the apartment. We had a pretty hellacious thunder and lightning storm last night, the remnants of which were still lingering this morning. So the combination of the sun low in the sky, the dark clouds still on the horizon, the conditions in Scotland I have been watching all morning and the AC keeping it nice and chilly in here, I had convinced myself that it was a brisk autumn day outside. After I got Grace back to sleep, I brewed a nice strong pot of coffee, made some eggs and biscuits and huddled up in the darkened living room to watch golf while my forward thinking (read: NOT stupid) wife went straight the fuck back to bed.

Now the sun has broken through both at Carnoustie and here at home. The weather forecast says 75° which sounds pleasant until they mention the part about 90% humidity. So, while I am thrilled that I have gotten to watch all this golf, I am now realizing that the heat and lack of sleep is going to make for a rotten day at work and I feel daft for letting my eyes trick my brain.

P.S. John Daly lol.

Posted in FORE!, Life Happens | 1 Comment »

Father’s Day

Posted by Anthony on June 18, 2007

Today was my first Father’s Day as a Dad. I enjoyed it immensely. Last night, we hung out at the In-laws’ place. We dined on Italian sausage & potato wedges. I consumed much Goose Island 312 while sitting barefoot on their deck. It was a wonderful evening and I even got to see my sister in-law and her girlfriend, who have been M.I.A. for the past few weeks. My daughter, Grace, turned 4 months old on Wednesday. She had a cranky day yesterday, as she is beginning the wonderful process of teething, but even her crankiness could not ruin a wonderful, relaxing night with family. I received a beautiful framed picture of Grace that reads “Happy Father’s Day,” as well as a “Rookie Dad” t-shirt and hat combination as my first Father’s day gift.

We left Streamwood around 11 pm, came home and enjoyed some ice cream (wife and me…not the baby lol). Grace went to bed around 1:30, which is a little early for her. We have been trying to get her to bed earlier the past week, as prior to that she would stay up until 4 am and wake up at 11 or 12 the next day. As nice as it was to get 8 hours of straight sleep, it was making getting to work on time very difficult. Her new bed time is more reasonable, but she has been getting up a lot more often through the night to eat. Not quite sure why that is, but hopefully as the new time sets in a little more, she will go back to sleeping through the night. Our first wake up call was 6 am on the nose. We zombied our way through a feeding and went back to bed around 6:30 or 7. She got us up again at 10 or 11 or something like that. From then on, I just stayed up, as it was Father’s Day. I had numerous sporting events to watch. In addition to that, my parents were coming by for dinner. We were going to make a 3 pound top round that wife’s Mom had given us a few weeks earlier.

Around 12:30, we began thawing the frozen meat and preparing the marinade, which consisted of Lawry’s 30 minute mesquite marinade with lime juice, some worsteshire sauce, minced garlic, fresh lime juice and brown sugar. We got it in the fridge at 1 with the intent of giving it between 3 and 4 hours of time in the chill chest. At that point, I sat down and prepared myself for an afternoon of racing, golf and baseball.

The U.S. Grand Prix was on FOX. I have been watching a lot more racing recently, and since my buddy John made the trek out to Indy this week to see his boy Lewis Hamilton run, I figured I should watch. F1 is fantastically cool. The Indy 500 is fun because it happens once a year and because of the sheer speed, but street courses (you know left AND right turns) are more fun to watch. There is more planning and thinking to be done by the driver and the team, more variables and more action. I particularly like the on-board telemetry they show, when the driver is shifting and braking and the engines drop down to 6,500 RPM from 9 or 10,000. Plus, the races are only 73 laps, so you do not have to devote 3 or 4 hours to watch one race, which is nice if you are not a fanatic. Hamilton had won the pole position on Saturday and ended up winning the race rather handily. This all after winning the Canadian Grand Prix the weekend before. This Hamilton kid is good, and he’s got a good car too. He’s gotten me to pay more attention and hopefully others will follow suit, because F1 is so much more compelling than NASCAR.

During the race, I was, of course, flipping between the Cubs and Sox games. The Sox are in the midst of an awful streak in which they are floundering against bad AL and NL teams, while on the North Side, the Cubs have turned it up and are playing solid ball. Plus, on Saturday, the Cubs and Padres had a bench clearing brawl and Carlos Zambrano took a no-hitter into the 8th inning…so I was trying to keep an eye on both teams. Today’s games were rather uneventful, though, and I plan to do an in-depth post on both teams sometime this week, so I will digress and talk a little about what I was most excited about watching today, the U.S. Open at Oakmont Country Club in Pennsylvania.

Today’s final group in the Open was the young Aussie Aaron Baddeley and some guy named Tiger Woods. Baddeley came into Sunday with a 2 stroke lead on Tiger, which was erased on the very first, which Baddeley triple bogeyed. He never got his bearings after that and shot a disappointing +10 (80) and nowhere near the leaders.

As per usual for the U.S. Open, Oakmont was a torture chamber, with impossibly thick rough and impossibly fast greens. Many people bemoan how challenging this major is setup every year, but I personally love it. These are the best golfers in the entire world, and I would rather see a tightly contested match with numerous people in the hunt on Sunday than the silly tournaments where someone has it won on Saturday because he is twelve under. I like to see the people with the best game, the best swings and the best equipment challenged. I want to see them have to make difficult shots and difficult putts, and I want to see them punished for not playing consistently, and Oakmont gave us plenty of that, with only a handful of rounds throughout the whole weekend under par.

Talking with my buddy Brandon yesterday, we had made our picks. He chose Stephen Ames, who was 4 strokes back, and I went with my guy Jim Furyk who started the day 5 or 6 strokes back. Both gentlemen flirted with the lead all day, including a couple holes where Ames had the outright lead, but he ended up dropping down after spending a few too many holes in the rough. Furyk made a late charge, but it turned out to be a little too late, as he would end up tied with Tiger for 2nd. Angel Cabrera of Argentina was the pace car for most of the round today and was in the clubhouse with a 1 stroke lead over Tiger Woods with 2 holes to play. After a par on 17, Tiger need a birdie to force a playoff, but his second shot on 18 from the intermediate rough carried well past the hole, leaving a long putt for birdie, which he was unable to sink, giving Cabrera his first major win of his career. I am all about Tiger NOT winning, and Angel seems like a good dude, so I was happy. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, it was an exciting hour or two of golf, with the leader in the clubhouse so early and so many names still in the hunt, with Ames, Furyk, Tiger, Niclas Fasth and Steve Stricker all posing the threats throughout the Sunday round. In the end, though, Cabrera managed the course the best and deserved to win this tournament.

Of course, the tournament ended around 6:30…other things happened during that time. Earlier on in the day, right after I took our frozen pizza out of the oven, Grace had a major poo-poo diaper blowout which required an impromptu bath and outfit change. After that, Nik fed her and I straightened up the apartment a bit since we were having company later. Dusted all the tables, vacuumed the cat hair off the couches and cleaned the bathroom. By that point, we were nearing 0 hour on the meat. Since we had used such an acidic marinade, we did not want to leave it on the meat too long, so after 3 1/2 hours, we pulled it out of the fridge and I began prepping the (boxed) mashed potatoes and (canned) frenched green beans. I also fired up the grill and got it hot for searing purposes.

I gave the meat 5 minutes of sear per side, backed off and let it cook low on each side for 5 more minutes. Right when I was taking it’s temperature for doneness, my parents arrived. I buzzed them in, returned to the grill and took off the meat. I let it sit in a glass baking dish for 15 minutes while I prepared the taters and beans. Onces the sides were done I cut the meat and plated it, and reduced the jus with some Jack Daniel’s. I was running around like crazy and did not have a chance to snap a photograph, but it came out very well and everyone seemed to like it.

My Dad & I watched the end of the U.S. Open while we ate. They hung around for another hour or so after dinner, and Grace let both Grandma & Grandpa hold her and let Aunt Julia play with her. It was very nice. After they left, Grace crashed for an hour or two, which gave Nikki the opportunity to run to the store for supplies…and by supplies, I of course mean Ben & Jerry’s Oatmeal Cookie Crunch.

Grace fell asleep while I held her on my chest. While she and Nik were both out, it allowed me to catch up with our Comcast DVR, which has been roundly neglected of late. I had the most recent episode of the History Channel show “The Universe.” This past Tuesday’s episode dealt with some of the extra-terrestrial ways that the Earth might come to an end. Asteroids, expansion of the sun, the Big Rip and my personal favorite, gamma ray bursts from distant supernovas that will vaporize our atmosphere and everything else on the planet. No warning. No survivors. That would be something else. When Nik returned, I asked her to snap a picture of my little girl and me, a memento of our first Father’s Day together.

fathersday.jpg
I am the one with the beard.

About 10 minute after Grace awoke from her coma, Nikki’s parents arrived, straight from a different Father’s Day celebration. I made a pot of coffee. Her brother Chris also came by a little later, and we all hung out, talked and played with the baby all night. We even gave Grace a quick bath before they left. She seemed a little perplexed by everyone watching her get washed, and she was moderately cranky afterwards, but by and large, it was just a nice, fun night spent with family. I don’t think I could have drawn up a more enjoyable first Father’s Day weekend.

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There ought to be a law!

Posted by Anthony on June 12, 2007

Can someone please explain to me why the pimple-ridden teenage cashier at Dominick’s cannot drag my bottle of whiskey across the scanner at the checkout? I understand that minors are not allowed to sell alcohol, but the cashier is not the one selling it to me. The store is. There is no reason I have ever been given that adequately explains the reason why my checkout process has to come to a screeching halt while we wait for the sixty-something cashier down a few lanes to put her whole line on hold, walk over, punch in some numbers, swipe the bottle, check my ID, punch in more numbers and then give the whole show back to the teenager. It doesn’s make a damn bit of sense. I am still giving the cash or payment to a minor…just because he or she did not scan the bottle makes a damn bit of difference? I think not.

There needs to be a goddamn reform in this stupid law, or some forward thinking store has to keep the fucking kids stocking shelves and pushing carts and let the goddamn adults run the checkouts. Everyone in line hates it when the cashier starts calling out “21!” I try to pick out cashiers that are of-age, but sometimes there is only 1 or 2 lines open and neither of them are old enough. It is dumb and needs to be rethought.

After all of this frustration, though, at least I was able to pick up a bottle of Woodford Reserve on mega clearance for $15.99. Frustration aside, it will be all worth it tonight when I crack that puppy open after work and put it on some ice.

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