2044, it seems, will not be a good time for America. The bleak vision of the future includes a dire energy crisis, homelessness, food shortages, wars, corporations running the country, etc etc. The main difference being that, in the future Cline puts forth, people can escape the horrors of reality from the comfort of their own home by logging in to OASIS, a virtual reality simulation that was launched as an MMO video game but over time morphed into a thriving online metropolis that expanded beyond just a video game but includes real world businesses and even a public school system. The creator of this utopia was a video game programming savant named James Halliday, and – spoiler – the book begins with his death. Halliday was a recluse and had no heir to will his company or his billions and billions of dollars to. Instead, he has set up a game within his game. An easter egg hunt. Quite simply, whomever discovers what he has hidden inherits sole ownership of the game, his company, his fortune.

Halliday was a child of the 80′s, and the story from front-to-back is dense with direct references to all sorts of bits and pieces of the decade. The early portion of the book is so wrought with 80s references that it almost comes off as name-dropping. At times Cline seems to just be mentioning things for the sake of mentioning them, but as the story progresses the referential nature sorts itself out and becomes not only more tactful, but more important to the main character, Wade Watts. Wade lives a rough life sleeping in the luandry room of his Aunt’s double wide in an Oklahoma trailer park tenement. Wade attends high school in the OASIS, and then spends as much of his spare time in the OASIS as he can as well, as I probably would if I lived in the laundry room of a double wide in a trailer park tenement. Let’s be honest. If I lived in Oklahoma at all I would probably escape to any non-Oklahoman virtual reality as much as possible, too. Wade has studied Halliday’s well-documented life backwards and forwards, retaining as much minutiae as his brain can withstand in the hopes that it will help him to one day win the contest.

As I said, Halliday was a child of the 1980′s. He, in truth, turns out to be a bit obsessive about it. An 80′s fetishist, if you will. Particularly when it pertains to video games and movies. Baring in mind that the year is 2044, and the main character is separated from the that decade by generations, Wade is studying not only Halliday, but the 80s, and so, for those of us that grew up in the 80s, there are times when he is explaining things from our own childhood. While this is not without it’s occasional charm, it also can be grating and sometimes just bordering on silly. Some references are not going to hit home, too. Even if, like me, you haven’t seen Pretty In Pink…you know enough of it that an allusion to it isn’t lost on you. If, like me, you too just read Ian Bogost’s Racing The Beam like last fucking month, a reference to Adventure programmer Warren Robinett will not be lost on you, either. Even a person who really enjoys playing video games, though, may need to run to google to look up like a name like Richard Garriot, though. (note – I knew who Richard Garriot was without having to google it).

While someone who isn’t an avid video gamer can enjoy this book, it’s target demo is definitely a focused group of people probably between 30 and 40 year olds. People who know Joust and Tempest, but also know Everquest, War Games and L.A. Style’s “James Brown Is Dead.” That is where the fun lies. In getting the subtle references. In knowing what the box art of an Atari 2600 game looks like before the author describes it. In being able to comprehend and visualize the image of a hard luck teenager hunkered down in a trailer slum in the year 2044 wearing virtual reality headgear and gloves and then entering a virtual arcade to play a virtual version of Pac-Man.

(the author of this blog would like to take a brief moment to inform the reader that he is currently snacking on dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets right now and listening to this)

Ready Player One hit a nice spot for me. Resting in between two much heavier reads, I burned through this in two days (granted, they were both slow days at work that offered me ample reading time). It is light and reads real quick, particularly when the contest picks up and the antagonist emerges. In typical video game format, it is an underdog story in three parts with a dark middle chapter. I will, of course, let you read to find out how it ends, but you know…video game book. Super niche-y, not for everyone, but a thoroughly enjoyable read for anybody with a fairly deep knowledge or interest in video games and their history. This is the first novel from Ernest Cline, whose other prior work is a writing credit on the 2009 film Fanboys. It’s clever and well-told. Also, in his picture on the back jacket of the book he is standing against a Delorean, so there’s that.

tl;dr – Hey I heard you like video games and 80s movies you should read this book.

Seems as though my last post was in summer of aught-nine, which is over two years ago. Both a lot and a whole lot of nothing has happened in that time, and rather than hurt myself trying to recall anything of interest that has occurred in that time, I’ll just skip straight forward to the contemporary banality I am calling life these days, and then maybe touch upon the things you can possibly expect on here if I ever actually start posting here again on a semi-consistent basis.

WHAT’S NEW

Well, I have a proper job. Not a “career,” of course, but a job that provides me with exciting new things like direct deposit, health insurance, lunch breaks and, someday, a 401k. 8-5, M-F. Lifting heavy boxes full of sharp screws which often puncture the box and, consequently, my skin. Driving a forklift. Loading trucks. Unloading containers. Filling out bills of lading. Really exciting stuff. Not making a fortune, but the checks don’t bounce and it is 10 minutes from home, so, I’m happy.

An unexpected side effect of said job is, I have suddenly started reading. A lot. In the 8 months I have worked this job, I have finished perhaps a dozen books, give or take one or two. For me, that is an absurd number. Most startling is that, the overwhelming majority of those books are fiction, something I never previously read much of. So, expect some talk about what I am reading. I just finished Mieville’s The City & The City, which I enjoyed, and I am waiting for my library to acquire copies of  Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84 and Ernest Cline’s Ready Player One for me, because, I am now the kind of guy who requests my library bring in books they don’t have in-house from other libraries.

Fishing is also something that has consumed as much time as I can possibly throw at it. My dad took the brothers and me on fishing trips when we were kids, but in the past year I have developed what is slowly becoming a smoldering obsession for it. So much so that, yeah, even though it is the middle of January, I am probably going to wake up about an hour earlier than I need to tomorrow so I can go to the Fox River before work to see if any crappies or smallmouths are milling about, trying to find an easy meal in this unseasonable January warmth (38 degrees and raining as of this writing). In truth, the idea the spurned me on to revisit blogging is the hopes of posting a lot of fishing stuff. Preferably, I would like to start doing some video content, but there are quite a few hurdles to get past before that happens, and I am QWOP when it comes to hurdles.

Wife and I finally got smart phones, so, expect some Android thoughts…which is an incredibly sexy topic, I know.

The kiddo…she is going to be 5 years old in a month and she continues to amaze and delight me every day, although my time with her is lamentably brief (did I mention I am still working a night job 3 nights a week?). She is in preschool. She is smart as a whip and is beginning to not only show interests in music and art, but she can already paint, draw and sing better than I could ever hope to, so that is quite exciting.

My dad has season tickets to the Elgin Symphony Orchestra, and I have been attending as many concerts with him as possible. Aside from getting to spend quality time with my dad, going to these concerts have woken up the part of my brain that loved orchestral music when I was exposed to by my dad when I was a kid, but then was beaten into submission by terrible emo and metalcore when I was a pubescent imbecile. The ESO is spending the next couple seasons searching for someone to fill their now vacant music director/conductor position, and I’ve already seen a few stellar guest conductors they have brought in for this season.

Board gaming is something that I have grown quite fond of, although getting a group of people together to play the games I like playing is proving to be more and more difficult these days. I will most certainly be posting about said games and game nights, though, in the hopes that I can regenerate some interest amongst my friends on the subject.

My knees are getting worse. We are using the same piece of shit Ikea mattress that we had long before I ever started this blog and it is destroying our backs. I am still using a laptop with Windows Vista and I hate it more and more each day. The Saturn Ion is dead and now we have a Mitsubishi Galant. Beyond that, I don’t know. As I said, a lot of nothing. If you know me, though, you know I can spend an hour punching out 800 words about nothing as long as I am 1) nude and 2) listening to Steve Reich.

OH P.S. I am too lazy to go through and vet all my old posts. I am going to just leave them there, but I would strongly suggest never reading them ever.

INGREDIENTS

2 large cans of whole tomatoes in puree
1 can of tomato puree
1 lb. chorizo
1/2 lb. chihuahua cheese
1-2 medium onions
1-2 bunches cilantro
4 poblano peppers
7 jalapeno peppers

This all probably cost about $15.

First up, brown the chorizo and break it up into little bits.

Brown it.

After meat is browned, move it to a colander in a bowl that will allow the ample fat to drain off as the meat cools.

Like diamonds, chorizo grease stains are forever, and you should be just as proud of them.

While the meat is cooling, prepare to caramelize as much onion as you might like. I only ended up using one because the second turned out to be well past it’s prime. Just remember that no matter how much it looks like you have before you cook, onions reduce down to next to nothing. After the onions are done to your liking, take them off the heat and let them cool.

BEFORE:

Goodbye, cruel moisture.

AFTER:

Not sure why this picture came out so fucked up.

While the onion is caramelizing (could be 15-30 minutes depending on how you like to go about it), get to grating that chihuahua. It’s a relatively soft cheese so keep it in the fridge until you are ready to work with it for best results. The grating/shredding doesn’t have to be pefect by any means as it is a great melter, but the colder and quicker you work, the easier and less messy it will be. I only grated about 3/4 of what I purchased (a little over 1/2 lb) and had more than enough.  Cheese it up to your personal preference.

Make sure to account for how much snacking you plan to do out of this bowl.

Once your cheese is grated it can go into the fridge. Same goes for the onions and chorizo. Once they have come down in temperature, mix them together into a bigger bowl. Set aside some of the mixture for the sauce (maybe between 1/2 cup and a full cup…use your eyes…you know how much stuffing you have and how many peppers you have to stuff) and put the rest in the fridge.

FLAVR MELD

The sauce is simple as can be. Pour all 3 cans of tomato product into a pot. Slit a jalapeno lengthwise 4 times and toss it in. Add in the reserved chorizo and onion. Chop up as much parsley as you like. I used one small bunch. I have no idea how much that actually came out to be. I make this shit up as I go along, so can you. After that, salt and pepper is all I added beacuse I am a minimalist and I like a nice, bright, clean tomato sauce for this, but go crazy with whatever additions you would like. This sauce will not be spicy, so if you like it hot, grab the cayenne or Guatemalan insanity peppers.

The soss is bauce.

Put the spurs to it. Bring it to a hard simmer or boil and back off the heat. Keep it on low heat as long as you like, bearing in mind that it is not hard to burn tomato sauce. I took it off the heat completely when I wasn’t going to be around to stir it and make sure that it wasn’t bubbling. Not a nice feeling to walk into your kitchen and see that overly high heat has not only ruined your sauce, but it’s repainted every flat surface in your kitchen in a quaint abbatoir motif.

Once you are ready to get your stuff on, take your cheese, onions and meat out of the fridge and combine. Mix em up real good like and turn your oven to 350.

Again, you're going to be snacking out of this bowl. Be mindful.

Set that decliciousness aside, get out your cutting board, your rubber gloves,  your favorite big knife and your favorite paring knife because it is time to prep the peppers. Cut off the tops and discard. We won’t be using them. Dig out the clump of seeds and use the paring knife to cut or scrape out as much of the pithy membrane crape as possible. If the walls of the jalapenos are thicker than normal, scrape them down with the paring knife so they are a little thinner and will cook evenly. Shouldn’t be necessarry with the poblanos. Get them hollowed out nice and clean. Although you sacrfice heat, I pick out bigger jalapenos for this dish just because they are easier to work with and obviously provide more to eat.

Hollow as a Coldplay fan's cranium

Next comes the fun part. Stuffing. I had more stuffing than I needed, so I packed that shit in tight. Common sense should dictate here, obviously. Make sure you spread it out enough to fill every pepper, keeping in mind that one poblano will take like double or triple what one jalapeno does.

BURSTING AT THE SEAMS

CRAM. CRAM. CRAM.

Make sure your sauce is warming while you’re stuffing. Once they are stuffed and all lined up in nice neat little rows, ladle the heated sauce over the peppers. I try to cover as much of the open end of the peppers as possible. If your baking dish allows complete submersion, that works for sure. I had the jalapenos and poblanos separated beacuse we have a friend with Chron’s and my idea of mild is her idea of 6-8 hours of crippling pain and diarrhea, but I would imagine you could cram all this into a 9×13 Pyrex baking dish and the sauce would cover a little better.

Separate but equal.

Saucified and ready for the oven

Ok. Toss these fuckers in the oven and set your timer for 30 minutes. At the 30 minute mark, take them out and flip them.

This would be a great dish for Christmas.

Halfway home.

After you have flipped them, return them to the hotbox and reset your timer for 30 more minutes. After that 30 minutes, it is up to you to determine if they need more time. Flip them one more time and see how much resistance the undersides of the jalapenos offer to a fork. If they are tender enough for you, then take them out. If you think they need more time, by all means give them more.

I made spanish rice to accompany it tonight. The kind of spanish rice that comes out of a box. It was pretty damn good. Maybe for next time I will learn to make actual spanish rice, though.

Spare no expense - Dixie paper plates.

*I asked for Rick Bayless’ opinion on Twitter. He suggested the caramelized onions and queso anejo, which I was unable to find at my local grocery, which is why I substituted chihuahua.

My iPod does have the WordPress app and now that I have “hacked” my way onto my work’s wireless network, I may start posting during my break.

Actually, I am kinda sorta trying to maybe work on dipping my toe into the podcast pool. Unfortunately, the mic I have (old Plantoronics headset) is not compatible with my recording device (iPod), so once I get a mic, perhaps expect me to start posting podcasts instead of trying to type this silly horseshit out.

Billy Corgan: “I am pretty great and I am responsible for ever good piece of music ever written.”

Radio host: “I completely agree with you.”

Billy Corgan: “Of course you do.”

EXTREME BEEF VALUE

Typical London Broil wisdom says marinate it in carbolic acid for a few weeks, grill it, cut it excruciatingly thin against the grain of the connective tissue and there is your meal.

Not me, though.

I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel. A tough cut of meat is a war, and braising is my weapon…not acidic marinades. Here I will describe – with visual aids, my favorite method for cooking large blocks of cheap red meat.

WHAT YOU NEED

MEEEZIN PLAAAAZ

-Cheap, monolithic beef
-Electric skillet with lid
-Chopped up carrot, celery, onion and garlic (medium-large rough chop)
-Ruffage from celery stalks
-Onion soup/dip mix (1 packet)
-Dried herbage (I use rosemary and thyme)

ALSO NEEDED BUT NOT PICTURED BECAUSE I AM A DOPE

-Olive oil (for browning)
-Kosher salt (seasoning, duh)
-Braising liquid (see below)

You can braise meat in any liquid you want. I use beef broth because it is cheap and imparts a little extra flavor, but this can be done in anything from water to wine and any combination in between. Typically if I don’t have enough broth on hand I just switch to water when I run out.

STEP ONE

Add enough oil to the skillet to brown the meat. 1-3 TBSP depending on your skillet and your meat. Fire up the skillet to the highest temp. Once it is good and hot (oil should shimmer), toss in the meat.

Tommy can you sear me?

After you have achieved some brownage – should only take a minute or two – flip.

You're looking for a nice taupe.

After both sides are browned, kick down the heat on the skillet to 250 or 300. Then pour in your braising liquid. It should come at least halfway up the meat, although I usually go up to the top…just don’t submerge it. Add the packet of onion soup, dried herbs, celery ruffage, salt and whatever other seasoning you want to the braising liquid and stir it up to distribute it throughout skillet as best as you can. Then pour the hardware on top…onions, carrots, celery and garlic. Peppers would be a welcome addition too.

EDIBLE GANG BANG

Once everything is in the pan, get yourself a nice little simmer going and cover it. You can’t have too much crap in this pan. Everything is going to cook down significantly.

Glass lids allow you to see your food as it cooks!

At this point, go find yourself a crossword. Just let it low simmer for an hour and then flip the meat. Whilst flipping, make sure to get those veggies submerged and underneath your beef. Repeat this step a few times, adding liquid as it dwindles down. Personally, I like to let the liquid cook off real low at least once and the the bottom burn in a few spots. Mailliard reactions and such. Depending on your cut of meat, it could take anywhere from 2-4 hours. I usually do this with a chuck roast which is fattier and more tender, so it is good to go after 3 hours. After 2 hours with this top round, though, I took a couple large serving forks and pulled it apart some to expedite the process…this is just because we were hungry. With most other cuts, you will know when it is done, though. After the 2nd or 3rd hour, you will go to flip it and the damn thing will just fall apart in the tongs. The carrots and celery will take on the texture of wet tissue paper and the onions may not even be visible at that point. That is what you are looking for. Think pulled pork. It should look like this:

MEAT

Serving options are limitless. If you have a lot of liquid left you can serve it over white rice like a soup. If you like it a little dryer, serve with mashed potatoes. Makes great sandwiches. Most of the time I just eat it by itself. This is good and easy and you should try it.

I am ok with this move. Savard has never impressed me as a coach and Quenneville has his name on the Cup and has taken 2 teams to the playoffs, including 7 straight appearances by the St. Louis Blues.

Breaking news on Blog Internetz is brought to you by the fact that my daughter is preoccupied watching Finding Nemo and I had 10 minutes to hear about this and write about it.

So off we go in 15 hours or so to a lovely resort where we stayed the night of our wedding. We get champagne and chocolate covered strawberries and spa amenities and crackers and cheese and a couple free drinks at the bar and a 30 minute couples massage. We are also going to go a fancy seafood restaurant and eat over priced seafood and drink overpirced alcohol.

I am really kinda dreading being away from my little girl for a night, but given the shit that we have gone through recently, I am really looking forward to a day alone with the wifey to blow all types of money we shouldn’t be blowing on things we shouldn’t be blowing it on.

ECONOMY!

This movie is fun as hell. I won’t try to paint you a picture of what happens because this caper/heist/mystery film is somewhat convoluted. Not in a The Big Sleep (original) kinda way where you can watch it a million times and never be sure of who is doing what and why…more of an Oceans 11 (remake) kinda way…where they tell you what is going to happen the whole time and it is never believable, but you believe it and enjoy it anyway.

It surprised me quite a bit. Watch for this on cable or go rent it. Well worth your time.

IMDb